Three As of Parenting

It is very important for a parent to listen to the child. The child's life evolves with three important aspects around him:

Appreciation

Acknowledgment

Acceptance

This has been a daily ritual since last 4 years. Eventually, both of us have grown in our relationship and the bonding has increased twofold.

It was normal morning today and as always, I happened to be driving down my little one to school. In those 30 minutes all that’s True and Real are me and my little. That is the time we TALK and talk about everything. Everything including him being hurt by me or my better-half, or him having some complaints against his friends, or my in-laws or our cook …..

I am aware that those complaints are most baseless and surely innocent, but I ensure that I hear him out....I then try to breakdown the situation, explain the circumstance, conditions etc. and the allow him to decide what happened was right or wrong.

Much to my pride and sometimes amusement, I have noticed, that whenever I allow him to decide what is right or wrong, a majority of the times he concludes that what happened was ok ...

So, this is where the three A’s come into play:

Acknowledgement: He being able to Acknowledge his work, his behavior, his thought process, his concerns, his understanding, his maturity, him being hurt and lot more. Acknowledgement is about reassuring him that you have understood him. Acknowledgment gives the child confidence and makes him resilient.

Acceptance:  A child seeks acceptance from his parents, acceptance of what he is and of what he aspires to become. Acceptance of him as a person works tremendously on the esteem of the child. Acceptance by the parents assures his being and promises him of a better future.

Appreciation: The most important and the last in the "A" pyramid. When a parent appreciates his/ her child, the child feels confident and THAT helps him to face the world. A single word of appreciation makes him feel encouraged and special. And this feeling of being special makes his world, the most secured place to live in.

Let us, as parents inculcate the habit of 3 A's in our daily life.

For me, these 3A's are an integral part of my life, the credit goes to my parents and I am now taking this legacy ahead by implementing the same for my child.

Relationships - Nurture them

Recently, I had been chatting with my bestie...

And he casually said : loved your smile

Me : Where did you see that?

He : In the DP

And since I was joking around, I abruptly wrote a shayari which kind of represented with the situation.

"Ek zamana tha

Ek zamana tha

jab dosto ek dusre Ko milke  smile dete the

Aab ye zamana hai

Aab ye zamana hai

Ki DP dekh ke hi smile Kar lete hai".

This holds so true these days....

How often do we meet people or our friends?

We say, we are connected but have you ever thought, how?

We do stay connected but majority of the times we remember, when we need.

The need can be emotional, physical, materialistic or seeking a connect!

So, what comes to my mind is this; is this friendship? Is this a relation or just a connect?

A relation is just like a plant, you need to nurture it with love, patience, understanding and empathy. If it's not nurtured, it stays as mere connect...

And connect is always there as a means of barter, services or self benefit.

Some quick tips to nurture relations, they can be your friend, parents, spouse, child, in-laws, sisters and sister in law's ....

1..Call them instead of dropping a message.

2..Wear a smile while you talk.

3..Talk DilSe and not just for the hack of talking.

4..Plan a surprise visit to them.

5..Take care of their special occasions and moments such as birthdays, health , their personal achievements, marriage  anniversary  and sometimes cater to their  moods too, as you are a friend and remember- a friend is never judgemental.

If you find that you are not able to cope up with that, take your time , the other person understands too and remember, it's a two way traffic ....so the other person is trying too.

So let's give a hi-fi and start it anew...

Every relationship has a strong emotional bond, nurture it ...you will love to see it blossom and so will be the other person.

My Father My Hero

Me and My SuperHero

Me and Pappaji

I have been the youngest spoiled brat of the Doshi family. Head strong, confident, multi-tasker, leader, and empathetic are all the qualities I have imbibed from my father.

He is the man of my life. I have grown up listening to his stories about his childhood and how he used to manage in his school days, to his college days in London, to his experience of getting his first job as he was a qualified Engineer from Battersea, to how he started his business at 50 and his dealings with Tatas. He has always given me and my three sisters a sense of security and assurance. However he always emphasized on being on the same page with my mother.

The tuning they both have has given exemplary memories to the best Parenting style.

And that has even helped me evolve as a Parenting Coach and Psychologist.

He has always dreamt his life and has put into reality, his dreams.

I still remember the lesson on time management he always used to cite for us.

He was working in London with a British firm and on the second day of his job, there was a heavy snowfall and he got late to office. The office timings were 8.00 am to 5.00 pm and he reached at 8.01. His manager was there at the door and he said, "Mr Doshi, you are late by a minute!"

I have grown up listening to his stories and experiences and this has made me aware that time and tide wait for none, make the maximum of the time given.

He has made us four sisters capable of managing anything in life, made us leaders and not followers.

And I proudly say - I will take his legacy ahead. Proud to be Ajay Doshi's daughter. 

That's how I write - Riddhi Doshi Patel.

Expect the unexpected and give more than you expected

Oh ho.....

What a day! It started with a discussion on Relationships with a close friend.

Me : What's happening to you? I fail to understand sometimes

He : Aah, in an awful mood; you know how it is .....but will bounce back soon.

Me : Ha, I understand , but bathake jaao na apni quite space mei, so that nobody disturbs,

He : Huh, bataya toh tha

Me : Ha, jab, I asked ....

And this endless talks..

And the conclusion rests on the expectations we have from the relationships we are into.

Siblings, friends, in-laws, husband - wife, neighbours, child - parent, employer-employee, teacher - student and many such!

Why do we expect? Is it because we love the other person, is it because it's natural since we are connected , is it because it's their duty to do react and respond, is it that it's your right to know things about the person whom you are connected or you love.

But what if the same thought process is running through the other persons mind too! What if they feel you have fallen short in responding!

So expect; but give more than you expect. You might sometimes feel that it's totally a one man job of maintaining a relation, but no it isn't. It's always a two way street. Aaj nahi toh kaal, the other person will reciprocate definitely. That too with double the intensity!

Try it out.

After all everything in life is give and take.

The more you give, the more you get, aaj nahi toh kaal , for sure.

But never ever hide in your relationship neither give a silent treatment.

Quoting what I read yesterday on a WhatsApp group...

Giving someone the silent treatment could possibly be a way for you to avoid confrontation but the message it gives out is psychologically damaging to the other person. It is saying that your feelings don’t matter. Only I matter to myself. Your intentions may be good but what matters is the outcome of your intentions.

Afterall having a relation in your life, is a blessing indeed.

Stay Blessed.

Nurture Contacts .. Build Relationships

#contacts #business #relationships #connections #courtesy #maintain #maintaining

Received a message from Mr CEO of a MNC where I had conducted a session four years back, “Dear Riddhi, hope you are good with your health, got to know from a friend that you were not keeping well, just thought of saying a HI and please take care".

Aah....in the first instance, it might seem to be a common message, but if you read it carefully, you will realise, those are the relations earned over the years of my professional life.

Yes ...maintaining relations is very very important.  Maintaining relations doesn't mean that you take advantage and pitch in your work all the time.

It means to stay connected, not necessarily that you keep meeting, but yes connecting is a must. Avoid pitching in your work; that might take off the essence of a professional relationship.

A simple hi or hello or helping them to connect further with acquaintances they need at their end works well for a lady professional.

Some of the tips I have inculcated in my life to stay connected:

1..Exchange cards in the first meet and the same day, leave a personalized message , albeit remain in limits

2..Never talk about your achievements or your work unless asked

3..Once in a while, drop in  a message saying Hi

4..Connect over LinkedIn , if you are seeking professional association. Let the profile speak for you.

5..Once in 6 months, share a link of your work...

6..Be there, if the person needs any help in terms of connecting with somebody on the professional front

7.. Share your contacts, you'll achieve more

8..Never sell your work...

This is what I have done to stay connected on the professional front.

While on the personal front, I am always there for all my friends, come what may...I try to give my best in the relationship which I am blessed with.

And trust me, I get in return in abundance.

Love your Body - You LIVE in it!!

#RiddhiRambles #body #appreciate #bodypart #loveyourself #loveyourbody

We believe we are ALWAYS thankful!

Are we REALLY?

So....let me share an incident here.

I recently happened to undergo a surgery and have been advised rest for a month.

I was really worried, as between multiple work commitments, leaving home, my little one and going for surgery was giving me jitters.

As expected I started getting really negative about the surgery, to the extent that I started feeling what if I die?

What will happen to my little one?

With all that thoughts in my mind, I walked towards the operation theatre. I refused to be taken in on wheelchair as I felt I had to be strong to face the situation.

Nonetheless....I saw the entire surgery and was continuously blabbering about my work with the doctors while they were operating on me. The surgeon who operated has been a family friend and since I cannot wear lens during surgery, I insisted on being allowed to wear my specs so that I could properly see what's happening and Doctor Uncle had a good laugh at my obsession.

As I watched the surgeon and his assistance prep me for my surgery, it suddenly struck me! I felt I HAD to thank the body part which the doctors had just removed for supporting me for these many years. (I underwent Hysterectomy - removal of Uteras). That now offending part of my very body helped me enjoy the pride of being a Mother.

I touched my uterus and said "Thank You!"

This incident helped me realise that we fail to be thankful to our body and our minutest body parts.

Let's do that today my Dearies. Let us take 5 minutes from our daily routine, touch each and every part of our body with our palms and say "Thank You".

Feel it, feel the experience of touching it, appreciate the shape and look of that body part, appreciate the way it helps us in our daily life.

Don't forget - Vo part nahi hota Tou kya hota?🤔

Be Thankful to your body first ...Vo hai tou aap ho meri Jaan!!!

Smile is a beautiful accessory.

#RiddhiMusings #smile #smilingisbeautiful

I have a Facebook connect, who sends me a message every alternate day which says, “Riddhi mam, don't forget to Smile today."

How true is that!

We women usually start our day with thoughts of all our responsibilities and have a mental ‘to do’ list of the work to be completed throughout the day. Once we get off the bed, the daily routine automatically kick-starts; waking up the little one, making breakfast, fill up the tiffins, planning the day, laundry, cooking, social commitments and what not.

Where is the Smile?

Oh ho - no time to Smile.

Let us religiously start our day with a Smile. ☺☺☺☺

When you wake up in the morning, just look at yourself in the mirror, Smile and say – Good Morning Beautiful.

That will give an instant boost to your esteem and that's what we want right at the START of the day.

Smile Karenge? ☺

Esmile please!!! ☺☺ 

You look good when you smile, you are exercising your facial muscles, when you smile you don't frown, you don't think while you smile, who knows your smile might make somebody fall in love with you, your smile can make somebody's day....

There are so many advantages...

So lets Smile. ☺☺☺☺

Self Defence - Should be an instinct and not an afterthought

#RiddhisMusings #RiddhiThinks #Selfdefence #selfhelp #attackthendefend #beaware

Are we safe?

Your safety is your own responsibility.

I recently had to meet with the management of a school based in Wadala.

Unfortunately I did not have the car at hand and did not get an Ola for long.

I therefore had to hire an autorikshaw. As with most of us these days, I got so busy with calls on my mobile that I crossed Bandra from where I was supposed to hire a taxi without realising it. The rickshaw driver took advantage of this fact and decided to take the longest possible route to Wadala via Chembur. He then dropped me at an unknown place (to me), where I could see only trucks and nobody else. On asking why he was dropping me off there, I was told “aage auto nahi jaayega” (autos won’t go further).

For a moment I just couldn't understand what to do. I was already late for the meet and hence started walking. I finally got a taxi and started my GPS.

According to the GPS the place I was to go to was just close by; but the taxi driver sensing that I was unfamiliar with the place started driving really fast.

Panicking, I asked him to stop and he did near a building on the East of Wadala, completely isolated and a place where no girl would dare to go.

He then asked me to get down; and without thinking twice, I shouted and showed him a knife (I carry a small knife in my bag) and sprayed a little pepper spray. That worked and he started coughing badly. I told him to turn the taxi around or I would spray it in his eyes; simultaneous I started dialling the police emergency number.

The taxi driver had the audacity to say “kya aurat hai ...goonda hai ekdum” (what kind of a woman are you, an absolute thug).

To which I replied “tumhare jaise hote hai phir goonda Banna hi padta hai”! (With people like you around, we women have to become thugs!)

Thankfully he took a turn and dropped me on the highway, from where I finally got another taxi and reached my meeting albeit 50 mins late.

The reason for writing this post is to make women aware that your safety is in your own hands. Screaming and shouting for help should be secondary, fighting off the attacker should be your first instinct. Your safety is in your hands; nobody else is responsible for that.

Have presence of mind and be aware.

Go on a date - with yourself

#RiddhisMusings
Let's spend some Time on oneself today!!! 

When you read this, the first thought that comes to your mind is, "Arey , time kaha hai?" 

Ha..you are right! 

You really don't have time to spend for yourself. You tend to spend time for all the things on earth - right from cooking, gossiping, getting in arguments with sabzi wala, mother-in-law, for your child and your husband and sleeping too. But no time for your own self. 

My dear Women, it is very very important to spend time on and for your own self as that's self care and self care is therapeutic. Time can be spent with your own self by doing meditation, going for walks (leaving your mobiles at home), going for massages, going for a cup of coffee with your girls gang, sitting idly with a cup of tea/coffee, listening to music, dancing, giving a movement to your feelings, and so on. 

Now why is this important? Few points to make you understand why spending time with own self is important: 
1.. It works tremendously on maintaining positive mental health 
2..It improves your emotional well being too 
3..It works on your immunity too 
4..It's kind of feel good factor for you 
5..Helps structure your thought process. 

With so many benefits, kya kare.....hum implement kare kya? 

So what are you waiting for... Let's do it today itself. 

Remember, spending time with one self is not being self centred, it means to take care of your own self to be well equipped to take care of the family.

You are your BFF

#RiddhisMusings

I often have a habit of spending atleast 30 mins in the morning with my own self .

That helps me think about the relationship I share with my own self.

Am I my own critic? Do I inspire my own self? Do I love myself?

Or

Do I hate myself? Do I expect too much from ME? What?

Yes, I do Self-Talk!!

That helps me work upon my issues and resolve it.

Self-talk helps developing positive self.  Self-talk can have a great impact on your confidence. The effect can be good or bad, depending on whether your self-talk is positive or negative. There are a few ways you can develop better self-talk, starting with just listening to what you routinely say to yourself.

I keep myself motivated as I do Self-Talk.

Would you like to give a try?

Accept yourself - You are perfect just the way you are

#RiddhisMusings

Accept Your Body

Often we women, keep on cribing about our body part/ parts which we don't like. It might be our nose, or stomach or hips, or thighs  and many a times we are ashamed of some of our body parts like underarms, or inner thigh areas or even our calf legs or toe fingers.

One can accept your body then only when you are convinced of what you have is the best.

Work on it but don't shy, accept it , love it.

Unless and until you love it and accept it, you will feel uncomfortable with what you wear and that will lead to low confidence on your appearance and also will reflect on your behavior.

So let us make a point to touch  the body parts ( which we don't like) and say - I love you....

That touch should be given by using our palms - palms have the best healing powers .

And see the miracle that happens.

Accept your body and love it to the core.

Let's believe in the Kurkure Slogan - Teda hai , par mera hai.