Pappa ki
Paari hu mei……
Pappa
kehte hai bada naam karega
You must
be thinking what am I upto..Well yes, its all about pappa and a child’s relationship
Research
shows that love and care of fathers are equally important for the health - physical
and mental health, and well-being for a child as much as a mother’s love is
important.
A father and daughter or a father and son, the relationship is
least discussed
This song is equally important as
the daughter thinks that father is a superhero in the eyes of the daughter and
for the son he always wants to match up to the father’s expectation, this
relationship co-exist throughout the life but its least talked about.
Father have emotions, father do
care, fathers cry, father get hurt and father's love abundantly, father presence is
secured and supportive as well. Anyone can parent a child but being a dad takes
a lifetime, fatherly role plays a very very important role in every child’s
life and that cannot be filled by anybody else.
Pappa’s just like mothers, are the pillar of emotional
development of a child’s well being (emotional
well being) children look up to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce
it on them, also look up to their fathers to provide a feeling of security,
physical security, emotional security, also look up to their fathers as a role
model so it’s very important that that cognitive and the social
development of a child is ensured well
while a father is around .
When I was at a marriageable age
and my parents made me sit one day with them and we were just talking and they
asked me what sort of guy do you prefer, what sort of man do you prefer in your
life, and immediately I said just like papa, why because all the emotional
support as a daughter I wanted from my father I have got, all the
encouragement, all the security, financial, physical security, always we have
been told that whatever happens- come what may I am there and that matters a
lot to a daughter, he has been a loving father, a gentle father, and that
exactly what we seeking in the person I intend to marry,
And while I am talking from the perspective
of a daughter, the sons also look up to their father in a way. I have a
10-year-old son, and I see him comparing with my husband, trying to dress up like him, trying to talk like his father, trying to protect me - his mom,
mirroring just like my husband does. He
tries to behave like an adult just like my husband is behaving with his sister.
This is something my 10-year-old
is trying to imitate, copy and learn from his father, he expects that while he
seeks all the emotional and love and hugs and touches from me, he ensures that
he gets all the time, the boyish games, the boyish talks from my husband and my husband is there to give him, so when I am
talking from a daughters perspective or a sons perspective, a father is very
important.
Often I have seen my little one telling me I
am here for you when his dad is travelling, that makes me smile as somewhere he
is too young to understand that his mother is equally capable but for him, his
father is strong, loving, empathetic, emotionally strong as he understands him
To all the fathers, it is very
important that even while your better half is pregnant, you are there with your
better half, you ensure that you give that touch to the child while the child
is in the womb, you give all the love and support to your better half because
remember , the love and respect you seek from your child when the child is out in
the world, it’s exactly what you need to give to your child in the womb
That is the reason why we have
stepped up, there is maternity leave and paternity leave because society now
needs it. Father’s were less active if we look back in the history , in joint
family system children were raised by women because there wasn't just mother
but Nani , dadi , bua everybody so father didn't have to get involved. Today
that is not the scenario. Today , there are more nuclear families, smaller
families that is the reason employees are getting paternity leave. So that
fathers get the opportunity to get involved in the process from the time, a child is born. Also,
all the classes they take during pregnancy why is encouraged that couple
participate together so that you are bonding and understanding the whole
natural process together. Parenting responsibility is equally shared and
participated and fathers nowadays are present at the time of childbirth - it clearly shows that we are changing and
evolving, parenting is constantly changing. Fathers are e now more curious and very involved as well, from diaper changing to feeding to going to a
ball game are all the roles fathers are also capable of doing and fathers are
doing that as well. I feel it is unfair to say that they are choosing not to do and I
always say that to be fair to the fathers who don’t participate I think
sometimes it' is just left to be assumed that we need help,
especially mothers and not communicated . If communicated, things are surely
better.
Parenting is not a competition,
mothers also need to encourage more active participation and in a
positive way and she also needs
to sometimes step back and let children be with their father. Have some spa time or shopping time with your
friends and let the daddy dear be there with the kids and plan their own
outing.
I hope this article will help you understand to respect a role of
a father in a child’s life. A message to all the mothers - respect the presence
of child's father in his or her life and in your life as well, if it’s not
working out with you as a relation that doesn't matter, that’s your personal
choice but ensure that respect it is taken care of in front of the child for
the child's well being, mental and physical well being, because this is very
important that is what you are teaching your child to manage when he or she
grows up to get married and plan to become a parent.
